"Tis the Season to Be Jolly" --Surving the Holidays with a Pending Divorce

The Holiday Season is here.  Statistics reveal that this is the time of the year when depression and anxiety runs rampant, especially amongst those who are in the middle of divorce proceedings.  The Holidays can actually be an enjoyable and festive time, even in the midst of a divorce.  Here are several tips to survive the Holidays while your divorce is pending.

TIP NUMBER 1: Remember you are not alone.

Statistics reveal that 1 out of 52 first time marriages ends in divorce.  You may feel embarrassed that you are going through a divorce or you may feel like a failure.  These feelings often lead you to miss out on holiday events, parties and/or gatherings.  For the first time, you may be attending holiday gatherings without your spouse, which may cause you anxiety.  You also may choose to not attend functions so that you don't have to answer the dreaded question, "Where is your spouse?"  However, now is the time to seek the comfort of your family and friends.  You will be surprised to learn how many people have experienced a divorce or knows of someone who has.  This may be the year you have to buy yourself a gift and celebrate "you."  At least you know you will receive something you like.

TIP NUMBER 2: Revisit your custodial plan.

If you have minor children and there is a custodial schedule/judgment in place, pull it out and re-read it.  A good custody schedule will specifically delineate the custody plan for the winter break session.  It will set forth the date, time, and location for the custodial exchange.  Usually both parents will equally share time with the children during the Winter break period.  Make sure you are familiar with the custody schedule so that you can plan your holidays accordingly.  If you do not have a well defined custodial schedule in place, you may want to discuss with an attorney or your spouse a custody arrangement which equally shares the Winter break session with both parents.

TIP NUMBER 3: Budget Accordingly.

Now is not the time to prove to your loved ones and friends that the divorce has not financially impacted you.  Quite the contrary.  It is strongly recommended that you do not run up credit card debt or spend money on lavish gifts for family and friends.  Most people close and dear to you understand the expense of a divorce.  If they do not, you can kindly explain that you are now living on the same income but there are now two separate households to maintain.  Now is the time to get creative with gift giving ideas and remember a nice sentimental card goes a long way.

"Rather than wondering about or questioning the direction your life has taken, accept the fact that there is a path before you now. Shake off the "why's" and "what if's," and rid yourself of confusion. Whatever was - is in the past. Whatever is - is what's important. The past is a brief reflection. The future is yet to be realized. Today is here!" - Vicki Silver

Enjoy the Holiday Season!!